bad news: the problem re-appeared. It looks like this only happens if:
the tab panel has a lot of tabs (20+)
there was an error before written to the log
Especially point 2 is thrilling: I had a bug somewhere else that produced a conversion error when using a query and wrote that to the log. After I fixed that problem, all dialogs worked as expected.
What happens is that once you show (or close) a dialog (plugin or formInDialog), tab panels in the background “disappear”. They turn grey and don’t react anymore. You can, however, still move around Servoy. All that helps is to reload the forms.
First, I thought, this only happens when some other error occurs (like the described date format). But this also happens if there is no error at all, so I am not sure anymore, that there is a relation to my problem. The latest errors I am getting are reference errors, as described here